Surviving the messy middle while on the job search

Ask most accomplished professionals about their proudest achievement and they will describe that remarkable feeling of "I've finally made it," whether it's a game changing career opportunity, promotion or even an individual campaign or initiative they worked on.

But what they won't describe is the struggle and pain they endured to get there. Struggle is certainly not a pre-requisite for success, but it's usually a key piece for unlocking the feeling of achievement. This pain is particularly acute for active job seekers while they are looking. Considering the average length of unemployment for Canadians right now is over 5 months long (up several weeks since 2023), that uncomfortable struggle is growing. The messy middle. Let's get into it.

The vulnerability of job searching

Openly searching for a job means "putting yourself out there." You might need to tell people why your last job didn't work out (and you might not fully understand it yet) and you might be feeling sad or angry about it — but you can't really speak about your feelings. Underpin that with a general feeling of uncertainty — about what you will do next, about where your next pay cheque is coming from, or when it will be coming. That's a tough place to be.

However, most people have been there and understand exactly how you feel. And more and more people appreciate the ability to be vulnerable and ask for help, so take a deep breath and reach out to some trusted colleagues or connections. You don’t have to go fully public but the wider you cast your net the faster you’re likely to find an opportunity.

Keeping focus

One of the biggest challenges when job searching is staying focused on finding a job that's right for you. There's an old saying: "when you're holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail." And that's what happens when you get lost in reading job descriptions every day: every posting starts to look like a fit, because you want it to be, or because the fatigue of searching makes "close enough" feel like a reasonable place to land.

It's worth pausing to ask what actually matters to you in your next role, before you go any further. And hint, that’s not the job title or even the responsibilities outlined in the post. The things that will determine whether you're still proud to work there a year from now. That can look like values alignment, a boss who sees and values what you bring, progress towards your ultimate goal. When you're clear on that, a lot of noise falls away, and you stop reading every job description as a potential yes.

This is also where the sheer volume of the search works against you. Sending out 50 applications a week feels productive. It rarely is. A handful of well-matched applications, sent with intention, will get you further than a shotgun approach and it will cost you a lot less of the energy you need to hold onto for the parts of the search that come next.

Mindset matters

Once you land an interview, you need to shift focus to your mindset. If you've been searching a while, the process is likely weighing on you. Rejection, or worse, silence, has a way of compounding. It's easy to walk into an interview already bracing for the outcome instead of showing up as the person who earned the meeting in the first place.

That shift doesn't happen automatically. It takes deliberate effort to separate how the search has felt from how you actually show up in the room. The candidates who interview well aren't the ones who've had an easier search, they're the ones who've found a way to protect their confidence in spite of it. That might mean talking it through with someone who gets it before a big interview, or simply naming the fatigue to yourself so it doesn't quietly drive the conversation. Remember your ultimate outcome is to land a job that’s right for you, not to accept any job that will take you. You are interviewing them just as much as they are interviewing, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

Give yourself credit for the parts of this that don't come with an offer letter. A strong conversation. A recruiter who remembers your name. A rejection that comes with real feedback. Those are all signs you're moving, even when it doesn't feel that way.

You're not the problem, the process is

Here's what I've come to believe 20 years into my career, and even more so as I’m building Aura: looking at candidates as good or bad is the wrong framing. You’re a match or not. However, often the hiring process is often one that rewards confidence over competence. Traditional job search advice teaches you how to show up and answer confidently to get the job whether it’s actually right for you or not.

So rather than trying to contort yourself for whatever role landed in your feed and ‘fake it till you make it’ into the job, consider spending less time applying for the most relevant jobs and finding connections to help you get in. This may not make the search easier or shorter. But it can change what you make it mean about you while you're in it. Use your free time for personal development, rest and rejuvenating your career goals and ambition. All these efforts will make you more effective when you do land the right role.

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If you're deep in a search right now, we are building Aura because we believe your next role should find you. Join the waitlist and we'll be in touch as we open up the beta.